This is something I get asked quite a bit about and below is a useful ‘worksheet’ of tips to help you. I can’t remember whence it came in order to credit it properly, but it’s something I’ve used effectively for years. There IS work that can be done for anger management; this is a good place to begin.
1. Breathe deeply from your diaphragm.
2. Visualize a relaxing calm experience or place from your memory or imagination.
3. Repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself such as “slow down’ ‘relax’ ‘keep cool’. Keep repeating the words whilst breathing deeply from your diaphragm.
4. Listen to some relaxing music.
5. Try non strenuous exercises such as walking, yoga or even dancing.
6. Recognize if the person you are really angry with is you. Try to be less critical of yourself as this will continually sabotage any progress. Learning tolerance starts with yourself.
7. Use humour to ‘lighten up’ but don’t be sarcastic (sarcasm is another less obvious expression of anger).
8.When in conflict with others, try using I statements instead of you statements. An example is; ‘I feel angry/sad/upset’ rather than ‘You make me feel…..’. Taking ownership of what you feel is a crucial step in learning to manage your anger.
9. Practice forgiveness and letting go of your sense of injustice so that you do not get eaten up inside with bitterness. The world is not always a fair place and to have expectations that it always will be, will cause you to continually suffer disappointment.
10. Know when to seek help from a professional who specializes in anger management. If your anger is causing difficulties in your relationships or at work, now is the right time to seek help.